Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Confession Z

Hello everyone.

I am one of JulyBabies. my birthdate is near so... i have a confessions to make.

I am an orphan. I do not have mother since i was eleven years old, and i lost my father when i was 18 years old. Yeah, i lost both parents when i needed them the most. I am proud of my parents. My mother was a kadazan dusun and my father was a bajau. :)

Looking into it, there is not plenty of memories i can recall with my mother. and im kinda regret it. i didnt get enough time to cherish her, to appreciate her. And things got worse when she left, that our welfare are often ignored. I know my father works hard for us, and tried to give us (me and my 9 years old brother) enough attention. but, i guess times arent a friend after all. My father was assigned to outstation works in peninsular, around sabah... But its okay Dad, we did fine.

Now, im living with my first sister (she havent marry yet), and my little brother. My second sister got married and she lived with her husband, just down a couple of street. I lived in flat (ugly) that has 3 bedroom with 1 bathroom.

People often asks me, How do you do? Are you okay? if you need help im just a phone call away. so how was life treating you? you still live in the same flat?

but what do i hear?

How is life treating you after they took your parents away from you? are you financially stable now? what did you do for that gopro and pink iphone 6?

But some do asks me straight

How do you look so financially stable since you lost both parents already?

Things got so puzzled for them when i further my studies in local university. I dont apply for the study loan. yet i dont even receive any scholarships from any institutions. i dont even apply for the financial aid in my campus. no i dont.

Yeah. I might lived in a ugly cracking flat, i dont even have parents, but one thing for sure, they taught me how to live independently. Some of my friends even think that i have sugardaddy or what similar terms you call to buy me all the stuff i own now. And thats why i hated to make friends with people.

Rules NO 2; Do not underestimate people.

I might look sad, but oh look! i have several commas in my bank account! and this house is already under my name. and i got a business license too. oh and this permit was under my name too.

and yes, i got it from my father.

You wanna know what is rule no 1?
Do not trust people.

I get asked, like a lot of times already.
Jadi siapalah masak di rumah kamu tu?
siapa2 ja yang ada di rumah kamu?
kakak kau kerja apa?

but im okay. im fine. it is such a life test and i get through it very tough.

The lesson is, never ever underestimate people. You are not an observer to judge and please dont stereotype that soon. You just make a will for them. I dont have parents, and that is so okay with me. I moved on already. Its not good if you sad for a long period of time for the deaths of somebody. and dont ever sympathized me, im not that type of person who liked being sympathized. well if you are going to give me 500million then its okay with me. until then, do not even judge me. You guys dont know my life then what gives you the privileges to say about it? i know, you guys liked to wonders and guess about my life, right? well go on. its fun that way. Its awesome that way.